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| robbo |
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Joined: 10/26/2007
Posts: 431
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"Why men don't write advice columns"
Dear Walter:
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> I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.
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> When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbor lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious.
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> He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months.
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> I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?
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> Sincerely,
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> Mrs. Shelia Usk
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> Dear Shelia,
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> A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber.
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> I hope this helps...
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> Walter
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"Please Clean jokes Only"
www.mnextremeoutdoors.proboards.com/index.cgi
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| pirilad |
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www.multispecies.com
Joined: 10/13/2005
Posts: 1435
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WHERE DID THE WHITE MAN GO WRONG? Indian Chief, "Two Eagles," was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done." The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, Clean Water; women did all the work, Medicine man free, Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex." Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that."
---------- how do argue with that answer?? Can't....
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| Margaritaville |
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Joined: 12/9/2005
Posts: 272
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Both of those jokes are brilliant! Great idea! I am one of those people who hear a joke and then immediately forget it, so I have nothing to contribute at the moment, but I will work on digging one out of the archives and try to add.
Very funny, I am still laughing
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| Margaritaville |
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Joined: 12/9/2005
Posts: 272
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OK here goes...
A couple is in bed sleeping when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past 3 in
the morning.” I’m not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and
rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of
bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there's a man standing there.
It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?" "No, get
lost. It's half past three and I was in bed," says the man as he slams
the door. He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and
she says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke
down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the
baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started
again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife.” He needs our help and it would be
the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again,
gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere,
He shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" The drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing."
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| robbo |
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Joined: 10/26/2007
Posts: 431
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www.mnextremeoutdoors.proboards.com/index.cgi
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